


Never Meet Your Heroes

by CamelotQueen



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Hurt Peter Parker, Hurt/Comfort, Pre-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Has Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-07
Updated: 2019-08-07
Packaged: 2020-08-10 23:43:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,003
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20143960
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CamelotQueen/pseuds/CamelotQueen
Summary: “Never meet your heroes,” Aunt May used to warn him. “They’ll always disappoint you.”Peter never imagined he’d actually meet his someday.But there he was… at his house, sitting on his couch eating his aunt’s date loaf, and the next thing he knows, he’s offering him a trip to Germany to fight Captain America.Peter thinks that whoever came up with that line has probably never met Tony Stark.





	Never Meet Your Heroes

**Author's Note:**

> Endgame who?? I don't know her. I'm still on Homecoming mode. 
> 
> Big massive shout-out to blondsak for helping me flatten out the ending and reading over the fic for me. I feel really lucky that such talent was willing to help me!

_ “Never meet your heroes,” _ Aunt May used to warn him. _ “They’ll always disappoint you.” _  
  
Peter never imagined he’d actually meet his someday.

But there he was… at his house, sitting on his couch eating his aunt’s date loaf, and the next thing he knows, he’s offering him a trip to Germany to fight Captain America. 

Peter thinks that whoever came up with that line has probably never met _ Tony Stark. _

—

“You have a _ Stark Internship!?” _

Peter tries not to smile too widely at Ned’s exasperation. “Yep.” 

“Dude… _ how!?” _

“There’s a… September Foundation. They give opportunities to kids with potential.” 

“And he just found you?” 

“Er… I guess.” 

“Wow,” Ned looks off into the distance dreamily. “I want Iron Man to notice _ me. _Do you think you could get me his autograph?” 

“Dude, I gotta play it cool. I have to impress Mr. Stark, I don’t want him to think I’m geeking out over him.” 

“But you _ are _geeking out over him, right?” 

Peter nods rapidly. “Oh, absolutely.” 

“On a scale of one to ten, how awesome was it meeting him?” Ned asks. 

“Definitely around a fifteen,” Peter shrugs nonchalantly. 

“Wow,” Ned laughs. “How did he look? Did he have his Iron Man suit with him? Is there still an arc reactor on his chest? Did he look really suave and rich?” 

“No, he didn’t have the Iron Man suit and I didn’t see an arc reactor. He did look pretty cool, though. His suit looked _ really _nice. It was probably super expensive.” 

“Well yeah, he’s a billionaire!” Ned spreads his arms dramatically. “I bet it cost more than your apartment.” 

“Oh my god, you’re probably right. You should have seen his _ car.” _

“Can you two losers stop crushing over Tony Stark so loud?” Ned and Peter’s heads whip to the direction of Michelle on the opposite side of their lunch table. “I’m trying to read.” 

Ned rolls his eyes. “You’re just jealous that Peter gets to work for Stark Industries and you don’t.” 

“The company that profited off of weapons engineering for half a century? Yeah, definitely not.” 

Peter shakes his head and ignores her. He goes back to smiling at his lunch, thinking about his trip to Germany and how he got to fight with the Avengers. Ned might not know the details, but he shared as much as he could without blowing his cover. 

_ We’ll call you, _Tony had said before he drove away. 

Iron Man was gonna _ call _him.

—

Peter never gets a call. 

He leaves plenty of voicemails. And he has a long one-sided texting conversation on his phone to prove that they have not only not called him… but they’re actively ignoring him. 

He’s not bitter, he’s just… confused. Tony Stark came to _ him, _not the other way around. He took him to Germany, let him help him fight Captain America, and then dropped him off back home and promptly forgot he existed. 

He supposes it was dumb of him to think that his personal hero would ever need him for anything else. 

But then a bunch of dudes try to rob a bank with alien tech. And then Ned discovers Peter’s secret. Then Liz invites him to a party… then Peter accidentally splits a ferry in half… then his suit gets taken away… and then and then and then… 

A plane crashes and Peter catches the Vulture. And Tony pays attention to him again. 

—

It’s not that Peter is bitter, but it does kind of suck that it took a near-death experience for Tony to finally start acting like he cares. 

They’re on speaking terms now. Peter rejected Tony’s offer to be on the Avengers and he’s _ still _ not quite sure if that was a test or a real offer, but either way, it’s for the best. Tony actually answers his calls now, and sometimes he calls him himself. Peter knows he’s busy, but he still has a moment of panic sometimes when the call goes to voicemail. But now, Tony makes sure to call him back. 

He doesn’t let Tony know that he’s disappointed in the months of silence, but he thinks he knows it anyways. He feels guilty about it, Peter thinks. It’s obvious in the way he goes to lengths to check up on him now and how he tries to know what’s going on in his life. It’s a little above and beyond, in Peter’s opinion. It went from complete radio silence to daily check-ups and asking about things unrelated to crime-fighting, it’s a little jarring. Peter’s not sure how to handle it. 

May is mad. She found out about Spider-Man after he got the suit back, and he hasn’t stopped hearing about it since. He’s pretty sure Tony got an earful, too. But she is still letting him do it, thank god. There are a lot more rules and restrictions now, but somehow he was able to talk her into letting him continue. He thinks it has something to do with him citing something about Uncle Ben and responsibility. 

So now May and Tony keep tabs on each other, too. It’s a little weird… it’s like his two worlds collided. He’s still not used to May casually bringing up over dinner that she talked to Tony Stark that day, but it’s becoming his new normal. May is not a huge fan, but she’s begrudgingly appreciative of Tony getting Peter out of his original onesie and keeping somewhat of an eye on him, even if she’s still mad that he brought him to Germany to fight the Avengers and didn’t tell her. 

All in all, things have kind of settled and it’s been a lot easier being Spider-Man when he’s not doing it behind May and Ned’s back and he has a superhero mentor now. He feels a lot more confident with a professional suit and an official sponsorship from Iron Man himself—like he’s legitimate, and not just a crazy guy running around the neighborhood in pajamas and playing pretend. 

But that doesn’t mean things are perfect. He still feels a little awkward around Tony Stark, especially when he’s in the Iron Man suit. What can he say? The guy’s intimidating, and the suit has a mean face. He’s pretty sure that’s intentional, to let bad guys know he means business, but it’s kinda scary when you’re face to face with it and talking about the math test you took that morning. 

But then sometimes, Tony laughs at something Peter says, or he tries to be cool and relatable and just comes off as really out-of-touch with teenagers, or he tells a really ridiculous story from his younger days, and he’s not intimidating at all. In those moments, he just seems kind of goofy. And man, is he a _ nerd. _ Peter never thought he’d relate to Iron Man, but he gets just as excited as Peter does when talking about science. The way his face lit up when Peter was explaining how he manufactures his web fluid to him made Peter remember that this is the guy that graduated from MIT at seventeen. He’s a genius engineer, of _ course _ he’s nerdy about science too. It’s a revelation for Peter. 

After that, Tony starts asking Peter to come to his lab with him. They start working on projects together—mainly Spider-Man related, but sometimes they get off track. The first time Peter sees his personal lab, he almost passes out. The place is _ huge. _ And it’s filled with technology and equipment he thought he would only ever see on screens. 

Tony _ giddily _explains to him his latest project, which involves incorporating nanotech into his Iron Man suits, when he’s abruptly snapped out of his trance. 

“You still with me, Boy Wonder?” Tony snaps his fingers in front of his face, making him flinch. “You’re drooling on me a little bit.” 

Peter shakes his his head. “Uhh… sorry, yeah I was listening. You were talking about creating a compartment to store the nanoparts when they weren’t in use so that they can be called at any time? To do that, you would need to make sure it’s stable so that the nanoparts don’t combust when they expand and shrink… and it would need to be small enough to be portable, or else it would defeat the purpose, but large enough to contain them, and I’m assuming you would want extra as security. An electromagnet would work to stabilize them, but the power it would need in order to be successful would be…” 

“Sort of like an arc reactor?” Tony finishes for him. “Damn, so you were paying attention. You’re good, kid. I really missed having someone at my intellect level to bounce ideas off of. It hasn’t been the same since… uh, since Bruce went missing.” 

Peter is so enthralled by Tony comparing him to his intellect that he almost misses the way his voice breaks when mentioning Bruce. 

“Dr. Banner?” Peter asks hesitantly. “I’m… I’m sorry. Were you close?” 

“He was the best scientific partner I could’ve asked for,” Tony says wistfully, before he seems to snap out of it and focus back on Peter. “Until I met you, of course.” 

Peter blushes. He didn’t really think of himself as Tony’s partner. That implied that they were _ equals. _ He thought of himself more as… an intern, or maybe a shadow. He just enthusiastically observed Tony at work and soaked it all up like a sponge, just grateful for any morsel he was willing to give him. 

“Uh… t-thanks,” he stammers, flustered. 

Tony smiles. “Don’t mention it, kid. Seriously, don’t… the last thing I need is any of my employees at SI getting jealous over a teenager. Anyways, as I was saying before… that electromagnet… what if it _ was _ an arc reactor? 

The subject was changed so fast that Peter didn’t have time to analyze what Tony had said. “Wait… you mean like storing the parts in an arc reactor? Like the one that was in your _ chest? _ Are you planning on putting it _ back?” _

_ “Bingo,” _ Tony shot finger guns at him. “I knew there was a reason I hired you as an intern.” 

“I thought it was just a cover for me to be Spider-Man.”

“Well… yeah, but also because you’re smart.” 

“Stop complimenting me to distract me from what you’re implying!” Peter waves his arms around, frustrated. “Mr. Stark, you can’t do that!” 

“Do what?” 

“Put an arc reactor back in your chest!” 

“Why not?” Tony seems genuinely confused. 

“Why _ not?” _ Peter repeats. “Because it’s dangerous! The reason you took the reactor _ out _ in the first place was because it was killing you!” 

“But there won’t be shrapnel in my chest this time,” Tony says casually. “And the surgery will be minimally invasive, I’ll even be able to easily take it off if I want to.” 

This is too much for Peter. He can’t believe he’s arguing with Tony Stark about whether or not he should undergo surgery for a superfluous reason. 

“There’s definitely another way to go about this that doesn’t involve you surgically giving yourself another arc reactor,” Peter practically growls. 

“I’ve already gone through the options,” Tony says. “There’s no other way to ensure I’ll have the parts available to me at all times unless they’re attached to my person.” 

“This is so… so… unnecessary!” 

“Woah, where is this coming from?” Tony raises his hands. “What happened to the scientific enthusiasm?”  


“I’m a fan of science for the sake of improvement of life,” Peter explains. “This feels like a regression to me.” 

“It won’t be,” Tony promises. Peter doesn’t believe him. 

He realizes this is the first time he’s disagreed with Tony. He immediately feels panicked at the way he yelled at Tony for his _ scientific ideas. _ About _ Iron Man. _ Holy shit. 

They’ve gotten in a fight before over the Spider-Man suit, but that was more Peter wanting to do his own thing and Tony disagreeing. This time, Peter is actually disagreeing with the way Tony wants to be Iron Man, and it feels weird. 

Isn’t Tony supposed to be the adult here? Peter doesn’t like being the voice of reason. But he’s a kid, and Tony was able to easily take the suit away. Peter has no sway, no authority whatsoever over Tony. If he wants to modify himself for the sake of easier access to the suit, Peter… really can’t stop him. 

__

Peter hears arguing as soon as he enters the compound. 

He was given unlimited access to the labs, so he goes there often on weekends to work on improving his web shooters and work on science projects. Tony told him he was welcome any time, but now he feels like he’s intruding when his super hearing picks up the sound of Pepper yelling. 

_ “Absolutely not! Are you crazy? Tony, have you learned nothing!” _

Peter freezes in the hallway, debating whether he should slink into the lab or hightail it out of there and pretend he was never here. 

_ “This isn’t like last time, Pep! It’s safe, I’ve run the tests. I’m trying to protect us!” _

_ “We’re about to get married, Tony! Can you not get any major surgeries before then? God!” _

He realizes they’re arguing about the same thing Peter was arguing with him about earlier. 

_ “It’s minimally invasive!” _ Tony uses the same defense he used with Peter. _ “You won’t even notice it.” _

_ “Ugh! I’m not standing around and watching you destroy yourself again, Tony.” _

A door slams, and Peter assumes Pepper removed herself from the argument. The air in the compound feels tense, and he decides it’s probably best for him to just leave. He starts walking out, but before he makes it to the door, Tony turns the corner in a huff. They both freeze. 

“Peter, how long have you been here for?” Tony asks, trying to sound casual. 

“Uh, I just got here,” Peter says nervously. “I was gonna go to the lab, but then I remembered I left something at home, so…” he trails off. 

“I was about to head to the lab too,” Tony says quickly before Peter can make his exit. “Gotta blow off some steam. Do you wanna work on something together?”  


Peter turns back to him. “Uhhh… are you sure…” 

“Please,” Tony says. “It’s always nice to have a partner.”

_ I don’t want to be alone, _ is what he doesn’t say. But Peter understands. 

Slowly, he nods. “Sure, Mr. Stark. What do you want to work on?” 

“I feel like I need a break from Iron Man,” Tony admits. “Why don’t we do some Spider-Man stuff?” 

Peter smiles. Maybe Pepper was able to get through to him. “Sure thing, Mr. Stark. I actually have a hypothesis I want to test out that will make my web fluid stronger.” 

Tony smiles crookedly and leads Peter to the lab. “Well, let’s see it.” 

—

The next time Peter sees him, he’s shocked. 

“You… you have a—” he points uselessly at Tony’s chest. 

“A containment pod?” Tony points at himself casually. There’s a metal contraption connected to his chest, blue like an arc reactor but bigger and shaped differently. 

“Yeah,” Peter says dumbly. “When did you… when did that happen.” 

Tony shrugs. “This weekend? I just wanted to bang it out before anyone could stop me. This isn’t one of my more popular science experiments.” 

The way Tony says it so casually makes anger stir in Peter’s chest. He scoffs and pushes past him, beating him to the lab. He drops his backpack on the desk that has been dubbed his and immediately starts taking out his project from last time. 

Tony saunters into the lab, but Peter doesn’t pay attention to him. He doesn’t know why he’s so mad, but he doesn’t want to talk to him right now. He just wants to focus on his work. 

“See? Even you’re mad about it.” 

Peter ignores him. He flattens out his blueprints and turns on his desktop computer. 

“Are you ignoring me now?” Tony asks. “Are you really _ that _mad?” 

Peter whirls around. “How did Pepper react?” 

Tony quirks an eyebrow. “Excuse me?” 

“Pepper,” Peter repeats. “I heard you two arguing about it before. Is she mad too?” 

“Ah,” Tony rubs the back of his neck. “So you _ did _hear that. I may be in the doghouse for a bit, but she’ll get over it. She understands the risk of dating Tony Stark.” 

“But why does there have to be a risk?” Peter asks. “There’s no immediate danger that warrants that type of recklessness. You’ve been able to handle everything just fine without the arc reactor, why did you need to put one back in?” 

Tony’s smile falls and his face darkens. It makes Peter blanch. 

“No immediate danger? Kid, there’s _ always _ danger, that’s why we have the Avengers. Or, well… did. I know you’re pretty green at this, and maybe you were too young to remember the Battle of New York, but we were _ hilariously _ underprepared for that. And no one would have previously been able to even _ fathom _ something like that. So now… I make sure I’m as prepared as I can be for _ anything. _It’s not reckless, it’s smart.” 

Peter blinks in surprise. He’s not used to seeing Tony like this. Something haunting seems to cross his features and his jaw clenches. Then he breathes deep and suddenly it’s gone. 

“And it’s _ not _ a goddamn arc reactor. It’s just a _ containment pod. _Why can’t anyone seem to grasp that?” 

Peter flounders for a response. “I, uh… I’m sorry…” 

Tony squints at him. “You’re sorry?” 

“I… I didn’t realize that’s how you felt about it.” 

“So you’re not pissed at me?” Tony sounds suspicious. 

“I mean… I still think the containment pod is a bad idea, but… you just want to protect people at all times. I understand the feeling.” 

Tony takes a step back. “There have been times… where I’ve needed the suit, and I didn’t have it. I can’t let myself be that vulnerable again.” 

Peter feels like he suddenly understands a bit of why Tony is the way that he is. Iron Man is less a sense of duty, as it is for Peter, and more because… Tony is scared. 

It makes sense. He doesn’t have the super strength or danger sense that Peter does. He doesn’t have the super healing. Underneath the suit, Tony is terrifyingly _ normal _. If something happens to him and he doesn’t have his suit, he’s toast. 

“It’s okay, Mr. Stark,” Peter says. 

Tony seems taken aback by Peter’s sudden change of heart. Like he’s not sure how to process it. He coughs awkwardly. 

“Yes, well… I’m glad you’re being reasonable. Maybe you should talk to Pepper… just kidding, don’t do that, she would know I sent you and be even more mad at me.” 

Peter smiles. “Maybe we should… get started on a project? Work on my suit?” 

“Right!” Tony jerks in the direction of the suit. “Yes, good idea. Follow me, I did some work while you were gone and I think I came up with an idea…” 

Peter follows Tony and lets him put the conversation behind him, but it ruminates in his head. He feels like he got to see a bit past Iron Man’s impenetrable armor and see the man underneath. And the man is softer than he realized. 

—

Apparently, it ruminates in Tony’s head too, because Peter walks into his room after school one day and there’s a package on his bed. There’s a note on it that just says “Thanks for understanding. – T.S.” Peter tears open the package and inside is the updated web shooters he and Tony had been workshopping. Apparently Tony finished smoothing out the bugs on his own. 

Peter huffs. Then he pulls out his phone and calls Tony. 

“Hey, kiddo.” 

“Why do you keep leaving stuff in my room for me to find? How do you even get in here?” 

“Well nice to hear from you, too. Is there a problem with the web shooters?” 

“No, I haven’t even tested them out yet. You know you could’ve given them to me directly, though, right? When did you come over?” 

“While you were at school, I just had a drone drop them off. You should seriously start locking your window, kid.” 

“I keep it open so I can sneak in my room when I’m out too late with Spider-Man. I’m seeing you this weekend, you didn’t have to go through that trouble.” 

“Oops, I didn’t need to know that. Now if May comes asking, I’m not lying for you.” 

“Mr. Stark.” 

“I’m sorry… I thought you’d like them?” Tony sounds guilty now, and that’s not what Peter wanted. 

“No, I love them, thank you. But I would’ve liked to thank you in person. You always drop things off, and I don’t get a chance…” 

“That’s because no thanks is needed, bud. Those are fifty percent your work. Forty percent? An argument could be made for thirty-five, I _ did _ figure out how to keep them from—” 

_ “Mr. Stark.” _

“What?” 

“Thank you.” 

“Didn’t I just say—”

“You don’t like hearing people say thank you, do you?” 

There’s a pause on the other end, before Tony clears his throat. _ “Au contraire, _ kid, I love hearing it. I just don’t like hearing it when it isn’t warranted.” 

Peter doesn’t quite believe him, but he relinquishes. “Okay, Mr. Stark, whatever you say. I’ll see you this weekend.” 

“You too, Spider-boy.” 

—

Peter didn’t _ mean _ to get stabbed, it just kind of happened. 

He’s normally on his A game and doesn’t let this kind of thing happen when facing up against run-of-the-mill gang members, but it’s _ finals week _ and he’s barely slept, and he just wanted to take a break from studying for the first time in five days straight by blowing off some steam patrolling, and it’s just _ so _ typical that something like this happens. 

He tries to explain this to Tony when he blasts in to take down the rest of the members that were quite literally kicking him when he was down, but all that comes out is a gurgle as metallic-tasting blood streams out of his mouth. 

“Holy shit, kid,” is all Tony says in response before yanking off his drenched mask and looking at his face. 

It looks bad, he knows. The kicks were aimed at his stomach, where the wound was _ (not cool) _ but there were definitely some aimed at his face and he thinks his nose is broken and he probably has a black eye… 

“It’s not as bad as it looks,” he tries to say, but it’s just more gurgling and more blood oozing. Did he lose a tooth? He really hopes he didn’t lose a tooth. 

Tony removes the gauntlets to cradle Peter’s face and attempt to wipe off some of the blood. But that just jostles all of his aching parts and he winces. 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” Tony gasps. “Alright, let’s get you to the compound ASAP. Fri, make sure the medical team is ready for him.” 

Peter’s head rolls back when Tony lets go of it and hits the pavement hard. Huh, he’s more out-of-it than he realized. Tony scrambles to scoop him up in his arms. 

“What’s the damage, Fri?” he heard him continue to talk to the suit. “Is he good to fly?” 

He can’t hear the reply, but the way Tony blanches makes Peter think it’s not good. 

“Oh my god, Peter stay with me, okay? You likely have a major concussion and we can’t have you falling asleep. We’re going to have to take the long way to the compound, because flying is too risky and we need to keep you level. Happy is on his way with a car, can you just stay with me for one more hour?” 

All Peter wants to do is sleep. He’s so tired that even the metal of Tony’s suit feels comfy right now. But he tries to nod in agreement. 

The car rolls around and he’s jostled around as Tony runs to it. He barely registers Happy getting out of the driver’s seat to open the back door and help Tony lay Peter across the back seats. 

“What the hell? That kid is gonna bleed all over my leather seats!” Happy yells. 

“I’ll buy you a whole new damn car, just get back in the front seat and drive!” Tony shouts back even louder. 

Happy does as he’s told as Tony’s suit retracts and he squeezes into the backseat, lifting up Peter’s legs to sit under them. He feels them start to move but he can’t see where they’re going, he’s just staring at the ceiling. 

“Alright, kid, let’s get you on your side, we don’t want you choking now. I’m gonna press up against the wound to stop the blood flow. It’s gonna hurt a little, but we can’t have you bleeding out here, Happy would be pissed.” 

Peter’s maneuvered to his side and Tony takes off his suit jacket to press against Peter’s stomach. Peter wants to argue that he shouldn’t ruin it, it’s too expensive, but Tony seems really testy right now and also every time he tries to talk he just spits up more blood, so he stays quiet. 

“Peter, stay with me. Give me a thumbs up if you can hear me.” 

Shakily, Peter lifts his arm to give Tony a weak thumbs up. He hears him let out a breath of relief. “Good, that’s good. Just keep… listen to my voice, okay? We’re gonna get there as fast as we can. Happy why aren’t we going faster!?” 

“It’s rush hour, boss, sorry!” Happy frantically yells back.

“Well take back roads!” he turns his attention back to Peter. “You really did a number on yourself, kid, didn’t you? I thought you had a final tomorrow? You might have to take a rain check on that.” 

Peter groans. His physics final, the one he’d been studying for before he went on patrol. He really hopes going to the hospital for a stab wound is a valid excuse to retake it. Maybe he can get a signed doctor’s note… 

“Peter?” Tony’s frantic voice cuts through his thoughts. He can feel his hand subtly shaking where it’s pressed against his wound. 

He lazily raises his hand into a thumbs up again, eyes barely open. 

“This isn’t gonna work,” Tony says suddenly. “We can’t wait an hour to get to the compound, Happy can you get us to the nearest hospital? Peter, do you have anything on under that suit?” 

He feels pressure against his chest and then his suit deactivating, revealing his bare chest. 

“Of course you don’t. Fuck, we’ll just improvise. Happy, drive!” 

Peter feels himself losing consciousness. His head lolls against the seat cushion. 

“Peter, Peter… please stay with me, don’t fall asleep. Peter? Peter! Thumbs up? Thumbs up if you can hear me.” 

Peter no longer has the energy to respond to Tony, but he can still hear him.

“Peter please, don’t do this to me… stay awake. Don’t die on me, dammit. If you die, I’ll… I’ll… Happy driver faster!” 

“I’m driving as fast as I can!” 

The last thing Peter hears before he goes completely under is Tony’s panicked voice begging him to wake up. 

—

He wakes up slowly. First, he registers the hand running through his hair. Then he registers the pain. He groans as it hits him, and hand moves from his hair to his shoulder. 

“Peter? Can you hear me?” 

He recognizes the voice immediately as May. He opens his eyes and sees her hovering above him, a worried expression on her face. 

He tries to say her name, but all that comes out is “Urgghh.” 

“Shh, take it easy. You’re still recovering, so don’t move around too much. You’ll open your stitches.” 

Peter takes a moment to look at his surroundings. It looks like he’s in a hospital room… but a really high-tech, state-of-the-art one. 

“What happened?” he slurs. 

“I should be asking you that,” May responds. “I got a call from Tony telling me to come to Queens General immediately and when I get there, I find out you’re in surgery for internal bleeding in the abdomen and you have blunt force trauma? Once you were out of surgery, Tony had you moved to the compound for observation. I… I’d like to say knowing you’re Spider-Man prepared me for something like this but… oh my god, Peter, you scared me to death. Never do that again.” 

Guilt floods Peter’s veins. “I’m so sorry, May.” 

She hugs him loosely, aware of his injuries, and he hugs her back as best he can with stitches tugging at his skin with every little movement and an IV in his arm. 

“Hey May, they didn’t have any soy lattes so I got you—” 

May pulls away and Peter can see Tony over her shoulder. He freezes when he sees Peter awake, two coffees in his hands. 

“I, uh… you’re awake.” 

“I am.” 

“That’s… good,” Tony hands May her latte. “Your really gave your aunt a scare there, kid.” 

“And Tony,” May adds. “I’ve never seen him so uncomposed.” 

Tony gruffly tries to deny it, but Peter sees the red rims around his eyes and he remembers the panic in his voice before he lost consciousness.

“I’m sorry, Mr. Stark,” he says sincerely. “I didn’t mean for that to happen.” 

Tony looks pained by his apology. “It wasn’t your fault, kid. Those assholes are to blame, and I’m making sure they’re taken care of. I’m glad you’re okay.” 

Peter smiles. “Thanks for saving me.” 

Tony winces and Peter is once again reminded how badly he responds to being thanked. But he needs to hear it. 

“Let’s just make sure you get some rest so you have a speedy recovery, okay?” Tony leans toward him so he can ruffle his hair. “I’ll leave you to your aunt… I’m just the coffee delivery boy. I’ll… see you around.” 

“Okay, Mr. Stark.” 

May smiles at him as Tony exits. “He’s trying to play all cool now, but he was really worried about you, you know.” 

“Really?” 

She winks at him. “Absolutely, at one point _ I _ had to be the one to calm _ him _ down. He was a wreck waiting for you to wake up, that’s why I sent him out to get coffee… I felt like he needed something to do. Plus his constant pacing was driving me nuts.” 

Peter smiles, even though it pulls at the tight skin around his eye. He must be bruised to hell, but May is looking at him the same as always. 

—

It only takes Peter a couple weeks to fully heal from the attack, and during that time Tony lets him and May bunk at the compound. They each have their own rooms and Ned brings Peter his homework every day after school. Sometimes they hang out for a bit, sometimes Ned has to go back home, but it’s always good to see him even if for a little while. Ned was so worried when he first saw him, too weak to leave the bed and pale from blood loss, but he got stronger fast and now he’s as good as new. 

In fact, he’s strong enough now that he’s itching to leave the confines of the medical wing, but May and Tony insist on him staying for just a few more days. It’s making him antsy though and that’s how he finds himself sneaking out of bed in the middle of the night to make his way down to the lab when he’s sure Tony and May are already asleep. 

He tiptoes down the hallway and even makes sure to jump on the ceiling and crawl past the security undetected. It’s overkill, but Tony is nothing if he isn’t paranoid. 

Luckily, Tony granted him full access to the lab whenever he wants so he’s easily able to override the lock and walk in… only to find Tony already inside. 

They both freeze when they notice each other. Neither of them says anything for a moment before Tony points at him with a hand holding a glass of amber liquid. 

“What are you doing? S-Security! How’d you get past the security?” he slurs. 

“I’m Spider-Man,” is all he says in response. And speaking of, his super senses pick up a strong smell of alcohol, and Tony’s heartbeat sounds slow. “Are you _ drunk?” _

“No,” Tony unsurreptitiously puts down the glass and stands in front of it, as if Peter hasn’t already noticed.

“How much have you had?” Peter asks suspiciously. “I thought you didn’t drink anymore.” 

“I don’t,” Tony says quickly. “Er, well… not as much…” 

“Tony,” Peter fixes him with a glare. He can’t believe he just walked in on his mentor drunk off his ass. 

“‘M fine,” Tony insists. “Why are you even out of bed? You should be in bed.” 

“I was bored,” Peter says. “Couldn’t sleep… I didn’t think you’d be in here. What are you doing?” 

“Adult stuff, nothing you need to worry about,” Tony waves his hand. “And you need to go back to the med bay. Hup hup.” 

He tries to herd Peter back to the door, but as soon as he steps away from the table he was using to hold himself up, he stumbles. 

“Woah!” Peter rushes to grab him before he falls. He’s practically deadweight in his arms, and he wraps one of Tony’s arms around his shoulder for support. 

“This feels weird,” Tony mumbles. “Didn’t think I was _ that _ drunk. Only had like…” 

He seems to try to do mental math before he gives up. He slumps against Peter’s side and leans his head against his shoulder. Tony has never let his guard down this much in front of Peter before and it feels weird. 

“Mr. Stark, I think you should go to bed…” 

“Hey, I’m the one who’s supposed to be saying that to _ you,” _ Tony objects, but doesn’t do anything as Peter starts leading him out of the lab. He’s barely even holding himself up, Peter holding most of his weight, and he’s lucky Peter is super strong or else he’d be buckling under a full grown man too drunk to even walk by himself. 

When they get to the bedroom, Peter tosses him on the bed. Pepper isn’t there, which makes Peter think that she’s probably on a business trip and Tony used the opportunity to dip into his private stash without her knowing. The idea makes a pit form in his stomach. He knew Tony had a drinking problem before, but he wasn’t aware he still struggled with it. What else didn’t he know? 

“Alright, Mr. Stark, no more drinking tonight. Go to sleep.” 

Tony flops back on the mattress. “Peter, I’m sorry, I didn’t think you were still awake.” 

“I’m glad I was so I could stop you from drinking more.” 

“I,” Tony hiccups. “I didn’t mean to. I just wanted one drink while I worked on stuff. Just wanted to calm my mind down. Sometimes… sometimes I think too much.” 

Since he doesn’t seem to be making a move to get himself ready for bed any time soon, Peter takes the initiative and starts pulling Tony’s shoes off. “I know, sir.” 

“I keep… I keep thinking about how many times I’ve come close to losing you. And it would be all my fault. I don’t know if you know how much you worry me sometimes, Pete. And this time… this time was too close. I can’t stop thinking about it. Sometimes I just… wonder if it was a mistake that I found you at all.” 

Peter pauses in pulling off his socks. He stares at the floor, his heart sinking. He doesn’t want to be the reason Tony started drinking again. And he doesn’t want him to regret knowing him. 

“Don’t tell Pep,” the voice is small and Peter looks back up at Tony’s face. He’s covering it with his hands. 

“Don’t… don’t put me in this position, Mr. Stark,” Peter tries to sound firm, but his voice shakes. 

“I’m sorry,” Tony whispers. 

Peter continues to take off Tony’s jacket and rolls down the covers, tucking him underneath. They don’t exchange any more words until Peter is turning out the lights. 

“Pete,” he calls, and Peter turns around as he’s closing the door. “I really didn’t mean for you to find me. I’m sorry.” 

_ Please don’t think less of me, _ is what Peter hears. 

“Goodnight, Mr. Stark,” is all Peter says, and the door is closed. 

—

The next day, Peter doesn’t see Tony until past noon. He imagines that he’s in his room nursing a nasty hangover. Plus, if he’s being completely honest with himself, he’s not too keen on seeing him again quite yet so he’s been avoiding his usual haunts. He’s mostly stayed in his room, only leaving for the kitchen when he’s feeling hungry. 

He runs into Tony when he walks in to make a sandwich for himself as a late lunch. Tony is at the counter with a glass of water and looks for all intents and purposes like a deer caught in headlights. They both stutter a hello at each other before they both make a hasty retreat. 

Things feel different, tense. Peter talks to Ned about it that night over Facetime. 

“I think I screwed everything up,” Peter admits. 

“It’s not your fault,” Ned says. “You can’t blame yourself for Mr. Stark’s coping mechanisms. But you should talk to him about what he said. Maybe he didn’t mean it.” 

“Why wouldn’t he mean it?” Peter asks. “All I do is cause him unneeded stress. I’m always getting into trouble and he has to come help me out. He gave me the suit, gives me unlimited lab hours… what do I give him? Nothing.” 

“That’s not true,” Ned responds. 

“It is, though,” Peter sighs. “Maybe he’s right… maybe I should have never met him in the first place.” 

—

They skirt around each other all weekend. It’s not until Peter’s given the okay to go back home after one more day of observation that Tony ambushes him in the common room. They’re passing by each other, or so Peter thinks, when Tony grabs his arm and makes eye contact.

“I want to talk about the other night…” 

Peter’s face heats up. “We don’t have to talk about.” 

“No,” Tony sounds stern. “I think we should. It was, uh… I wanted to apologize. For not acting like an adult and forcing you to be the responsible one. That wasn’t cool of me.” 

“You didn’t know I was gonna find you,” Peter reasons lamely. 

“But I shouldn’t have been drinking in the first place,” Tony sighs, deflating. “Can we sit for a sec? I promise I won’t take up too much of your time with this heavy stuff, I just feel like you deserve an explanation.” 

Peter wants nothing more than to sprint out of the room so he doesn’t have to deal with this. Tony Stark looks… _ scared _ … to talk to _ him. _ It feels so unnatural that his fight or flight instinct is raging. 

“Um, sure,” is what he actually says. 

They shuffle over to a couch and sit side-by-side, not looking at each other. Tony takes a deep breath. 

“I… I always think that I control myself. That I know my limits. That as long as it’s just ‘every once in a while,’ I’m fine. But I see now that getting piss drunk alone in my lab off of bottles I’ve had stashed in places so that Pepper won’t know about them isn’t… normal. I guess I thought that as long as I was the only one that knew I was still doing it, it wouldn’t hurt anyone. But I was wrong, obviously, because you found me, and you didn’t deserve to see me like that. So I’m sorry. I’m not gonna do that anymore. I threw out all the rest of the bottles and I installed a protocol into Friday that won’t let me bring more alcohol into the lab. I’m cutting it cold turkey. I see now that that’s what I should’ve done since the beginning.” 

Peter looks up at him with wide eyes. Tony is still looking resolutely at the floor and he looks so vulnerable all of a sudden. He’s telling Peter something that he’s never told anyone. 

“And you’re just a kid and shouldn’t have to be hearing all of this,” Tony continues. “But I made a mistake last night and I wanted to make it up to you, so I think you deserve to hear this. You’re so much more responsible than I ever was, or am. It amazes me how _ good _you are, kid. So… I want to be better. For you. And Pepper, and Rhodey, and anyone who’s ever been in my corner. I want to make it worth your while.” 

Tony finally looks back at him. His eyes are glistening, and so are Peter’s. His heart is beating fast and his head is spinning with all the new information. Tony is doing this for _ him. _ He throws his arms around Tony in a great big bear hug. 

“Thank you so much, Mr. Stark,” he chokes. “That’s… you’re already great. You’ve always been great.” 

Tony hugs him tightly back. 

He pulls himself away after a while. There’s still one more thing he needs to know. 

“Do you remember, um… what you said to me? That night?” 

Tony grimaces. “I said a lot of things I wish I could take back, which are you talking about specifically?”  


“About… wishing you never met me…” 

Tony’s expression looks devastated. “I said that to you? God, Peter, I’m so sorry. I get overly honest when I drink.” 

Peter’s heart sinks. “So it was true?” 

“No!” Tony says quickly. “Not in the way you think. Listen… everyone in my life is in danger. I’m one of the most influential men in the world and my life is _ very _public. All of my friends have gotten hurt and I blame myself for every single one of them. I didn’t want you to be one of the people affected by my mistakes.” 

“But none of what’s happened to me has been because of you,” Peter reasons. “It all would’ve happened whether you got involved in my life or not. In fact… a lot of situations probably would’ve ended much worse if it wasn’t for you.” 

“I still feel like I should’ve protected you better,” Tony whispers. 

“Mr. Stark, it’s okay,” Peter puts his hand on his shoulder. “I don’t blame you. And… honestly, I think I’m cursed too. Everyone I care about ends up dead. My parents… my uncle… you’re not alone.” 

Tony smiles hesitantly at him. “Maybe we can be cursed together?” 

Peter smiles back. “I’d like that.”

—

“Pass me a socket wrench.” 

Peter does so without thinking, not even looking up from his math homework. They’ve been quietly co-existing for hours—Tony working on upgrades to his suit and Peter focusing on studying. It’s lab day but Peter had lamented he had too much homework so Tony suggested he still come over and do his homework while Tony works. It’s a good system… classic rock music plays quietly in the background and they’re so focused on their individual projects that they hardly notice each other save for a few sporadic comments. 

Peter takes a well-deserved break from his homework to watch Tony work. He’s focused, his eyebrows furrowed as he concentrates on a problem Peter knows he’ll solve. It’s fascinating to have a front row seat to the smartest man in the world working. Peter has been privy to the thoughts that run through his head as he creates once a week for the past year. He’ll never take for granted how lucky he is for that opportunity. 

But over the course of time, his view of Tony shifted. Yes, he’s constantly in awe over the brilliance and innovation of the man… but that’s not all there is to him. 

Maybe if a year ago he was asked his favorite thing about Tony Stark, he would cite his contributions to science, or Iron Man, or the influence of Stark Industries. That was all he knew—the front, the projection, the mask of iron. But now… he thinks about Tony’s compassion, his drive to be a better person, how hard he fights to overcome his mistakes. He sees a side of Tony that he never knew before. He’s been in fights with him, comforted him when he’s been upset, watched him cry, stumble, make mistakes. He’s not the perfect hero that Peter thought he knew. 

_ “Never meet your heroes,” _ he remembers May saying. _ “They’ll always disappoint you.” _

But it hasn’t been disappointing. 

“What’re you looking at?” Tony teases, and Peter is shocked out of his musing. 

“Sorry, just trying to figure out what you’re doing.” 

Tony scoffs and throws his tools down. “Well I’m _ trying _ to get this upgrade to work but it’s not agreeing with me. How do you feel about a smoothie break?” 

Peter smiles. “I’m feeling pretty good about it.” 

He gets up, stretches, and then follows Tony out of the lab, listening to him complain about achy joints. They walk into the kitchen of the compound and Tony walks over to the fridge. 

“Strawberry banana or Pineapple mango,” he asks. “Stupid question, why would I think you’d ask for anything other than Strawberry banana?” 

Peter laughs. “You know me so well.” 

“That’s because it’s all you ever pick,” Tony grumbles in return. 

“Maybe I’m just predictable then,” he jokes. 

“Oh, trust me,” Tony says while he gathers up the supplies. “In all the time that I’ve known you, you have never been predictable.” 

Peter sits at the island while Tony blends the fruit together. They chat about how school is going, where Pepper is this weekend, if Aunt May is still seeing that guy from IT. Tony serves him his smoothie and they sit down together, sipping and laughing. 

“Do you think you’ll ever introduce me to Thor?” Peter asks, stirring his smoothie. 

“I don’t know,” Tony responds. “He’s off-world most of the time and doesn’t really keep in contact. I never know when he’ll be around.” 

“What? You can’t figure out how to get him around to the compound at the same time as me so we can just casually run into each other?” 

“I’m afraid that would be terribly hard to coordinate.” 

“Ugh,” Peter rolls his eyes in mock annoyance. “They were right, you should never meet your heroes, they’ll only let you down.” 

“Hey, that’s not fair—wait. I’m your hero?” 

“Not anymore,” Peter shakes his head. “Thor’s my favorite now.” 

“What… hey now, this is just…” 

Peter just laughs, slurping up the rest of his smoothie and heading back to the lab. 

“Where do you think you’re going!?” 

“Back to my homework,” Peter calls behind him. “I see have nothing left to gain by talking to you.” 

“This is…” Tony sputters after him. “I feel very attacked right now. Come on, kid. How much money can I give you to make you like me better?” 

“Money doesn’t buy happiness, Mr. Stark.” 

“Yeah, but it buys a new car, and that makes me pretty happy. So, what’ll it be? Name a price.” 

Peter spins around at the door to the lab and Tony halts in front of him. He smiles up at him. 

“A trip to Coney Island.” 

“What?” 

“A trip to Coney Island… that’s my price. To make me like you more than Thor.” 

Tony raises his eyebrows. “Is that right? That’s all it’ll take?” 

Peter smiles wider. “Yep.” 

Tony huffs out a laugh. “Alright… that’s very doable. Sure you don’t need me to also throw in a car?” 

“I’m pretty sure. I just want to spend a day with you.” 

Tony’s smile turns soft. “Well, alright then. I can do that.” 

**Author's Note:**

> "If we want the rewards of being loved we have to submit to the mortifying ordeal of being known." (I Know What You Think of Me, Tim Kreider, NYT)


End file.
